TV presenter Jonnie Irwin has revealed he celebrated his 50th birthday early as he contends with his terminal cancer diagnosis.
Iriwn, who presented Channel 4's A Place in the Sun and the BBC's Escape to the Country, said in November he had lung cancer which spread to his brain.
In an interview with The Sun, he shared more details about life with the disease and its effect on his young family.
"I'm weak now, fragile and my memory is terrible... but I'm still here," he said.
The 49-year-old, who shares son Rex, 3, and two-year-old twins Rafa and Cormac with his wife Jessica, said playing with his children is now almost impossible.
"I tried to play football with Rex the other day and was in goal and I couldn't get near the ball," he said.
"It was so frustrating. I'm very sporty and suddenly it's just like... it was as if it was the first time I'd attempted football.
"I felt like a granddad. And that broke me a bit.
"I always thought, 'I'm an older dad but I'll be leading from the front' but I'm now at the back."
Irwin also decided to celebrate his 50th birthday, which is in November, early. He hosted a big party attended by 170 friends and relatives.
"It was a great night. I chose a playlist with some great tunes from the '90s and 2000s and people came from all over the country and abroad," he said.
Jonnie Irwin says A Place In The Sun dropped him after diagnosis
"I didn't know the extent of the loyalty and generosity that my friends would exhibit," he added.
"I've been dumbfounded and spellbound by their support, as well as that of our families, who have been amazing.
"I just wanted to do something to celebrate my birthday and had no idea how many people would actually turn up. It was incredible."